I wanted

I wanted to be a safe rollercoaster, that was fun and made you happy at the end of the ride
Nothing to out of the ordinary with the occasional dip and slide
I wanted to pass with flying colors and surpass all others who had tried
I wanted you to bet the house on me, risk it all every time
I wanted to show you how perfect you were and how happy I am that your mine
How I loved your sexy, black, body and never overlooked your grind
I wanted to be your sword and shield, a good shield can protect you from incoming pain
I wanted to be a sword so sharp that I'd slice away the dark clouds and rain
I wanted you to let your guard down and let your shoulders relax
I wanted to you to know that no matter what, I've always got your back
But just as you were about to pick me up and fight against the world
I lost your trust and my hopes and dreams by being with another girl
Lets take back the words "being with" because it doesn't express the hurt
I wish I could take back my actions because it doesn't accurately show what our relationship is worth
To be foolish enough to put us at risk
And lose a woman who brought such joy and bliss
All for a moment of pure ignorance
Which I can't take away, but hope you'll dismiss....
I lied, there was no lack of knowledge and I was fully aware
But I refuse to admit to myself and you that at some point I didn't care
When I picture your face inside my mind
And refer back to all those times
That you were there for me
It makes this even more humbling
No I don't think men have a right to "get it out of there system"
I beleive we all give up that right when you tell someone your're with them
And I can't explain my mind, or why I caused you so much pain
And my apologies and time, for me, won't remove this stain
Our lives together will last forever and our love will carry on
But that doesn't mean you won't look back and see the stains not gone